Friday, December 7, 2007

The Not-So-Grand Finale

It's the end of yet another year and another chapter of Playboy history has closed. We've got another 12 Playmates to choose from, and every single girl is unique in her own way. And to close it all off comes Miss December, Sasckya Porto, a Brazil native who breaks the mold of the typical Brazilian beauty in every sense of the word, and I'm not speaking positively here.

It seems that Sasckya leaves a little something to be desired: that lean Brazilian curvature of the back, that bronzed beach tan, and that sexy kick that quenches the thirst right away. Playboy USA hasn't always had very much luck attracting women from South America with much success, and here's another flop. I reserved judgment of Sasckya after seeing her preview, but her PMOM pictorial disappoints me.

Where to start... I think it's telling when my favorite photo of a girl is one with her clothes on. I'm not meaning to insult Miss Porto's beauty in the nude, as certainly a naked girl is far better than one with an overcoat on, but nudity also leads to scrutiny. And Sasckya is certainly not an unattractive girl... she has an exotic face, tall features (5' 10"!! now that's something to behold), and beautiful hair. But look inside those clothes, and with lingerie on, she's got her second-best photo.

Sasckya is still a sight for sore eyes, don't get me wrong. Here's a photo of her voluptuous behind, in traditional Brazilian form. And while that's entertaining for a bit, you know that there have been far better Playmates so far this year and in years past. So why should Sasckya deserve your time? Especially when she moves on to hit you with awkward photos like this one or this side shot. Sasckya's body is pale, her posing is inconsistent, and her pictorial is ultimately drab and boring. Although she manages to let out a low-brow stare that captures the attention for a short while, and slips into this cute sheer bodystocking for a little bit, that sneering smile of hers just doesn't do it for me.

I'm sorry if I've been too harsh on Sasckya, but let's face it... we've had a pretty good year of fresh faces and great new talent for Playmate of the Month. Finishing it off with the traditional December flavor is something we've come to love from names like Tiffany Fallon, the Teles sisters, Lani Todd, Karen McDougal, Elisa Bridges, or even Barbara Moore. The thing is, yes, it's not fair to compare Sasckya with these past greats, but it is fair to demand more from Playboy for your annual Christmas sweetheart. So Playboy... what were you thinking??

Consensus... C-

Sasckya Porto
Miss December 2007

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